I always feel I have to give background to my story for those who don’t know me. I recently got divorced, just turned 50 years old and I’m living on my own for the first time in YEARS. It’s coming up on my first year in my apartment, on my own and I need to reflect back on this new adventure of mine.
When I first moved into my apartment, other than work, I had too much time on my hands. Every day I arrived home from work, I made sure my apartment was clean (except the dining room table… that was the “catch-all” – lol ) I found myself coming home from work, sitting on the couch and not doing much of anything except streaming crap on my television. I think I wanted to invite friends over but I wasn’t ready to. Part of me didn’t want my apartment to be messy, lol.
I hiked over the weekends and during this process, I met a girl 20 years my junior, I’m not sure why but she took a liking to me. I mean, I’m cool, handsome, live in this million dollar apartment… none of which is true but it makes for an interesting blog… well, the girl who was 20 years younger is true and yes, she was interested in me. We were scheduled to run together one night but she was running late. I started without her and just said “Meet me at THIS restaurant at 7pm). I didn’t think much of it, after I was running, I just jumped back into the outfit I was wearing at work. She literally ran to the restaurant in running gear. I STILL thought nothing of it. Apparently, she sat down, looked at all the women in fine clothes and high heals and was embarrassed. I told her it was okay.
She would text me in the evening and I invited her over to my apartment for dinner. I would make a very nice lamb dish that I liked to make and then we would watch a movie afterwards. Things went well but she did have to leave at 8pm as she has two children. I was kind of looking at the situation as kind of weird. I was 49 at the time, she was 29. I am struggling to put money in my 401k and put money aside for my son’s 529c. (College savings plan). Mentally, I’m not sure… if this relationship worked, that I was willing to focus on anything other than my retirement. I didn’t want to focus my money on someone else’s children. It was also apparent to me that when her kids actually go to college, I will likely be dead… or 65 years old, lol. In any case, it didn’t work out. I was somewhat in between “good thing” and “man that hurts” but strangely, a month later, she was engaged to another person she met. Two weeks later, I found out that they broke it off. Just following along with social media, I think I avoided a great disaster. 🙂
I wrote earlier about the neighbor downstairs who would yell at her son all the time. One Sunday it went from 3pm to 10pm. All I heard was one F-Bomb after another. The son was a senior in high school and I felt sorry for him. One Saturday morning I heard her repeatedly use the F-Bomb so I jumped up and down on the floor yelling “Unga Bunga Bunga!”, so she would yell “Shut the F- Up!”, I repeated my Bugs Bunny mantra again “Unga Bunga Bunga”, and she’d yell “Shut the F-up” again. I did it once more, even louder “UNGA BUNGA BUNGA”… and she yelled to STFU again… It was slightly amusing but I didn’t want to aggravate the situation but wanted her to know that I could hear every word she said. It’s gotten better but sometimes when I am heading to sleep at 10pm, I can hear her yelling at her son. Sometimes it is at 3am. I really pay it no attention anymore. Otherwise the apartment is pretty decent. Strangely the neighbors don’t interact much. I think I talk to one of the older ladies when we enter/exit the building around the same time.
During my first three months, other than the 29 year old, I felt very alone. I had just hung out with a friend and told her “I feel like I have no friends”. I think I was just going through a sensitive time. My close friends live in another state and while I have friends here, they are not the same as those life long friends. I could post something on Social media saying “I’m going on a hike” and people would join me but I didn’t always want to be the person who had to post something, I wanted someone who would, out of the blue, ask me to hang out. I wanted someone who would knock on the apartment door and say “Hey, what’s up? Just stopping by to see what your up to”. Childhood friends do that. I’ve spent a great deal of time alone in my apartment the first 6 months or so but I started getting the need for more social interaction.
I kept posting on social media that I was heading out after work and walking along the river. Or maybe I was going to the local botanical gardens. Or maybe I wanted to get a bit to eat. Most days I did things alone… but I was staying out of the apartment. Once a week, someone would join me on my little adventure. A friend invited me out for Trivia and I started doing that once a week. I always take pictures on my walks or hikes and that got me in touch with some of the “photographers” in my small circle of friends. Slowly but surely over the last 6 months, I’ve been expanding a bit. After trivia last week, one of the people attending said “We are going to the bar across the street”. I’m not a big drinker but decided to join them. They had some live music and it was fun.
I went through times of uncertainty, I went through times where I was alone, I’m finding I am doing so much better now than I was at this time last year. I just renewed my lease so I’m feeling good about everything. I’m wondering if I should start thinking about being a homeowner again, lol. The future is uncertain but I’m keeping an open mind about the future. I’m happy with myself.
…That’s my story4today 🙂