I’m alive! I made it through the holidays! I’ve been in my apartment over a month, technically a month and a half if we include my vacation I took to New York. It’s been a strange month and a half… as you can tell by the amount of blogging I have been doing.
My biggest fear moving into an apartment was noise. I figured I’d have noisy neighbors and I would be fuming at the noise they make. It was quiet my first week, almost too quiet! …until the second Sunday. A Mother was just yapping at her son all day, practically screaming up a storm, it started around 3pm and lasted until about 10pm. There were F-bombs galore! I’m thankful for my air purifier! I just kick that thing on and the muffled sounds of F-Bombs go away! How is that for purifying the air! Woot Woot! Another neighbor manically laughing in the hallway isn’t too bad, it only lasts for about a minute until she reaches and exits the building. She had no cell phone in hand, no earbuds in her ear but she sure is.. jolly! The only other noise that is really disconcerting is the sound of the complex dumpsters being emptied into a garbage truck at 4:30am.
When I moved out to the midwest 13-14 years ago, I don’t remember it messing with my mental ju-ju. This move seemed to put me all out of wack. I took to the inter-webs to see if other people
went nuts had a period of transition. One of the first websites I found was this: Living Alone…
First off, the author is 22 years old (now 26!) She lists the 6 stages of living alone and I read it with interest. I’m not sure how long it took to go through these 6 stages but I have to admit, it only took me a month to touch upon all six stages!
1. Hesitance: I like where she is going here. Where to put the blender, forgot to get a potato peeler. She is paying her own bills, She (YOU!) are in charge of everything. I get this. I didn’t think I’d have any issues financially with bills… but I do have concerns that I will put things off and get notifications of late payments! and yes, I had to figure out where the toaster went, the microwave.. which is way too big for the spot it’s in. My coffee maker is pretty convenient! But the dishes and the food and the utensils, after I put them away, I realized it was ALL WRONG! and had to re-arrange my cabinets. Mental Breakdown noted….
2. Joy! It beings to feel less of a prison sentence and more like home, she explains. Cooking pant-less!?!? …actually I have a funny story of that. When I visited my girlfriend in July, she opened the door in her underwear! (she knew it was me) but it wasn’t one of those sultry voices saying “I was waiting for you”.. kind of thing. I will have to admit, I do get home from work some days and just get into my PJ pants right away… but you know what… [never mind, too much information]. Oh yeah, Joy… I can stock whatever I want in the closets and refrigerator! This is not 100% joy, it is a short term joy. Why? you may ask? Because I bought a 12 pack of Drumstick Ice Cream, it is like Crack to me. I eat one and… I have another… and maybe another. I think I’ve only cooked two home cooked meals since I have been in the apartment! Pizza=6, Taco Bell=4, Sushi=2, Arbys=1, Burger king=1. McDonalds=1… Naughty!!!! I’m not a junk food junky!
3. Fear: I’m not feeling this but yes, different noises at night are unsettling at times… such as the dumpsters being picked up at 4:30am…. and maybe the maniacal laughing is disconcerting. I don’t fear the F-bombs but with someone THAT angry, I just hope she doesn’t torch the place.
4. Abandonment: I don’t necessarily feel abandoned but I do miss the human interaction. My son is very musically talented and he enjoys music but I am no longer hearing that on a daily basis. Even though things were falling apart for my wife and I, we atleast had to interact with each other on the house, the legal paper work, the things we needed to come together on for my son. The apartment is quiet, I haven’t invited anyone but my son. I’m missing out on social interaction! (Duly noted that I hike every weekend with a group, I get social interaction at home, I have a girlfriend who lives in the land of far far away. [and no, her name is not Fiona!] Aside from all that, the lack of social interaction on a daily basis has been a source of stress.
5. Wo(Man) Up! Well, no, I really haven’t picked myself up off the floor yet.. well, except my furniture FINALLY arrived so I’m kind of on the couch or table with my bad snacks! I am still wallowing, having my solo pity party!… but yes, I did attend a local event last week and will be socializing more on the outside of my apartment more in the coming weeks. I was getting a good deal of exercise prior to this move and I know I have to get back into it. I’m leaning on the edge of being Lazy/Productive and I know this is the best way to get out of my funk! I will be manning-up shortly!
6. Acceptance. The author settles into her routine, starts doing
yoda [Ha! Ha! I have to leave that spelling mistake there!] Yoga, meditating, writing a journal… or that is what she is suggesting to the reader. It’s true. You start having to accept things as they are and back on the horse again. And if you have no horse, figure out things to do that make you happy. Join an adventure club! a hiking club! Go out and socialize.
In Conclusion… I think the challenge for me is almost the mental aspect of it. There is an initial source of stress because you are in a new place. You want to make the new place your own. You may enjoy visitors but kind of feel out of place when all your visitors leave. For me, I struggle with wanting visitors but not the mess! (I’m no Felix Unger!). You are pretty much doing every single household chore on your own. You are responsible for all the bills and the upkeep on your apartment. Even though I have taken care of myself for years, I’m still struggling with this new place alone. Even though I still stress, I know I can do it on my own… it just FEELS strange. So, if you are going through the same thing… you aren’t alone!