I’ve been holding onto memories for years! So what better thing to do at 5 am on a Saturday morning to finally put random jumbled thoughts together and accurately title the song in my head “Living a dream loving a memory of yesterday”
Queue Beatles: In my Life:
A couple of months ago I received an email from “Alessandra”, I dated her for a really, really short time in seventh grade and somewhere in a tangled mess, we have remained friends throughout life. She got married, moved to Florida, had a child, moved back to New York, got divorced, got married, moved to Arizona and had another child. We don’t speak very often but everyone once in a while, an email will pop up… “I haven’t been such a great friend”, she will write and then we catch up on everything since the last time we wrote to each other. I let time slip by as well but it even makes me feel great knowing an email from me every once in a while puts a smile on her face.
I moved away from my childhood hometown area about 15 years ago and it is a struggle to stay in contact with friends. In fact, I have felt hugely disappointed when I can’t see my friends during the one visit I make back home. Sometimes I have little time and other times friends have little time. The last time I went to visit, I got the chance to see my friend “Rob” and we went out for a few drinks. I went hiking in Massachusetts and another friend from childhood, “Mike”, met up with me to hike. I have seen very little of those best friends in adulthood but it is always nice to catch up.
but then there is the person who you start singing “Living a Dream, Loving a Memory of Yesterday”… (gosh, I wish I would have written something more than the title!). You know the one, the one you have regrets about, the one that got away… that “sweet little baboo” that Sally would refer to, or “the Little red haired girl” that Charlie Brown would refer to. Yes, sooner or later you’re going to remember back to those days, reliving the glory, remembering all the good that was in the world at that point in your life. It will feel like it was yesterday! What wonderful memories!
and then a sound goes through your head, the sound of a record needle flying off a record, not one of those DJ Rap ((wiggy wiggy)) cool sounds but the sound of the needle being forcefully moved across the record. Wow! That was FIFTEEN years ago! (or Ten or Twenty) and while you are reliving all those good times in your head, the record scrapes again, there were also some bad times. But of course in our memory, those good times prevail! ((Yea! for the good times!!!))
It was in the above process that I was able to reach out to someone. I have held a certain amount of guilt inside me for years about the way things ended, additionally, I was so thankful for how she shaped my life, despite our problems, she really was a wonderful person to me.
There are a few certainties in life. We change. In the last 15-20 years, I have gained weight, my hair has shifted from dark brown to salt and pepper, I use to be a happy-go-lucky guy and now I have taken on a much more serious tone. Sometimes life is like a roller coaster but that roller coaster builds the character we are today. On the flip side of the coin, the person you reach out to may have had a wonderful life, or a hard life. Obviously you and the other person could be two totally different people today, leading vastly different lives.
…and then you get an email out of the blue. It’s from me, I admit that I haven’t been such a great person. I want to catch up, be friends.
…and if you don’t get that email, out of the blue, maybe you should send it.