This is going to be a potpourri of thought. I haven’t found a good definition of ego but I think I found its meaning through experience. It’s when you think you know the way something should be despite being at odds with the way things are. Getting angry or frustrated because we attach ourselves to the results we are looking for and those results do not play out. (I have edited this one small paragraph many times and am not sure I am accurately describing what I initially intended!)
I have been attempting not to force myself to write something, I wanted it to flow naturally and that’s why it’s been a month since I last posted on the blog. I was listening to a podcast/talk given by Gil Fronsdal and one of the questions was about “Right Now”, It resonated with me! I’ve been guilty of not focusing on “the now”. For instance, today I did something not out of the ordinary; I plugged a network cable into a patch panel. Unfortunately, this simple task took down the entire network, including phone system. I unplugged the cable; power cycled the router the network cable was going to but it didn’t fix it. I looked at the patch panel and router but drew a blank, this looks bad for me! Luckily I worked with one of the network guys and did some troubleshooting. It turned out there was a cable going from one router to another which should not have. Not sure why it picked today to cause this issue. Even though the issue is now fixed, I still feel responsible. I still feel I could get in trouble for causing the network to go down. Now that the problem is solved, I should be relieved! …but I don’t. I’m still back in that server room trying to figure out what happened (even though the issue was explainable and not my fault).
Similarly, you get into an argument with someone and days later you are still angry! You just cannot let it go. Instead of finding happiness in the now, you are attached to something that happened days ago.
Two Buddhist monks are walking through the woods and come upon a fair maiden. The maiden asks one of the monks to help her across a river and the monk carries her across the water to the other side. As they walk, the other monk is visibly upset and states “You know, as a monk, we are not suppose to have contact with the opposite sex”, the other monk turns to the other and states “I left the woman at the edge of the water, why are you still carrying her”. (I’ve heard this story several places and I am paraphrasing but will give Gil Fronsdal credit).
If you are carrying any anger, angst, pain or suffering, why not take this moment to let it be, leave it by the shore, leave it where you are standing and walk away.
Right Now, Relax and Be Happy!