Wait…don’t go! It is just the name of today’s blog! One of my friends, Becky, held a class on “The Work of Byron Katie”. It was a great class and as usual, I latched onto something I heard in class, so interesting, that I lost focus of the rest of the class while I wrap my mind around my thoughts!
(Let me plug Becky’s website: http://www.everpresentcoaching.com/ )
What I latched onto was a portion called “Staying in Your Own Business”. It was part of Byron Katie’s booklet “The Work of Byron Katie”, The first paragraph begins with:
“I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s. (For me, the word God means “reality.” Reality is God, because it rules. Anything that’s out of my control, your control, and everyone else’s control—I call that God’s business.)”
Byron Katie stressed that we should stay in our own business, isn’t our own business stressful enough to get involved in the business of others or worry about acts of God or God’s Business. I’m not going to go into full detail because I am going to put my spin on it but to understand this topic better, it would be worthwhile to check out pages 7 and 8 on the PDF below at her website:
Many of my blogs are taken from classes or teachings and as I mentioned above, I will put my own spin on the topic.
I’m going to start with Natures Law. People stress over things that they have absolutely no control over. I lived in New York for most of my life and moved to Indiana ten years ago. Each place had four seasons: Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn. Each season has its own acts of nature such as snow, ice, wind, tornados, hurricanes, thunderstorms, heat, pollen, bugs..etc. Maybe it is from the lessons in Buddhism but I understand this, I accept this is a part of where I live and try not to let it bother me. Other people truly sound like they are suffering from it. “Mother Nature” is going to do her thing no matter how much complaining we do. And it’s not even weather, people tend to work them into a frenzy about things they have no control over.
How about getting into other people’s business? This is one I am currently struggling with but I also feel Byron Katie could possibly expand on this. I am a parent of a teenager. Much of his life I have been in his business. It is the parents business to see that their children are taking care of, that they learn to take care of themselves and that we give them the proper instructions in hopes when they leave the nest, they can… take care of their own business! J As parents, we have struggled with letting our son go to the bus stop alone, struggled with him being at a friends house overnight, riding his bicycle alone in the street and other such areas of independence. He is getting older now and our struggle to protect him from everything is starting to become “getting into his business”. I still struggle with seeing him ride away on his bike. Soon it will be a car, then off to college then he may be on his own. It is a struggle for me not to be in his business. I worry about him! BUT… If I am over protective of him, he may never learn what his business is. He needs the freedom of getting to know his own business.
For me, looking at Byron Katie’s this way, making the last of the business, “My Business” give me perspective that the only thing I can (and should) control is, my business. Byron Katie in her booklet makes an excellent point “If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine?”. For us to stop trying to control Nature, for us to stop trying to control others, the only person we are left to control is.. ourself! If there is a life we should go about improving, shouldn’t it be our own? It’s not very effective helping others with their suffering, if we have suffering of our own.
Besides, if we work on ourselves instead of butting into others business, perhaps others will see a new you and will want to include you in their business.
How do you think you will feel if you start accepting Nature’s Law for what it is, accept others for who they are? Can you feel that stress release? If you feel it rising, it could be that you don’t want to let go.
Take care of your business.